tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-124624102009-09-08T11:46:07.839-07:00EXLORING THE HUMAN CONDITION, ITS UPS AND ITS DOWNS AND ITS VICTORIESInez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-80375035731102084982007-10-18T18:07:00.000-07:002007-10-18T18:09:44.402-07:00

Dear blog readers of SEEKING-- this is to let you know that I have been creating my own website in the last few days. Go to www.inezhollander.info, press on BLOG on the welcome page (and do check out the other pages) and continue the blogging experience with me. Hope to see you there,Thanks,Inez

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-55699665522889456962007-09-01T22:47:00.000-07:002007-09-01T22:58:24.960-07:00

I haven't blogged for months but received the sweetest message from Mike, who found me and Lynn Ruth by accident. Lynn Ruth and I have been waxing on and on about what wisdom is and how we should try to keep focused on staying true to ourselves...Lynn Ruth has more wisdom to offer than me because she's been more places, learned more and has written more about it and more insightfully. I still

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118211677469651542007-03-19T22:41:00.000-07:002007-03-19T23:03:59.379-07:00

Lynn Ruth, you have always struck me as someone who is driven and knows what she wants to do in life. You know your diamond, yet making it shine is not always the easiest part... At 41 I still don't quite know what my diamond is and while I think I want to write and be read, I do have other talents too that I do not explore because I write, work and have to take care of my family. Writing

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1172740619317141222007-03-01T00:49:00.000-08:002007-03-01T01:17:00.070-08:00

This past several weeks have been filled with small, hurtful annoyances and these annoyances have taken up far more energy that I care to admit. I was speaking to a Buddhist friend of mine and she said that my only goal in living my life should be to polish the diamond that is whom I am becoming. If I concentrate on that, the hurts and face-slaps, the insults and upsets will fall away. I have

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1170841540222457662007-02-07T01:04:00.000-08:002007-02-07T01:45:40.616-08:00

My marvelous friend Nick Leonard observed that the nicest people we know are those plagued with depression and personal insecurities while the nasty, pushy ambitious people we both avoid because they are so unpleasant seem to forge ahead on their chosen path, shouting their successes to the world. Why is that?It breaks my heart that the sensitive, loving people I care about suffer from

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1165989078666146372006-12-12T21:28:00.000-08:002007-01-09T06:14:17.796-08:00

Last week I sent my manuscript Silenced Voices to Ohio University Press. Whenever I send stuff out (big stuff this time, all 250 pp long) I am reminded of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird in which she talks about the screaming insecuriy she feels once that story or manuscript is out of her hands. A book is never finished and certainly a non-fiction book like mine: new research surfaces sometimes even

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1163929817103952072006-11-19T01:11:00.000-08:002006-11-19T01:50:17.946-08:00

I think each of us knows the direction our life should take but so many outside influences divert us that we often wake up one morning and say, "How did I land in THIS mess?" To me, Inez, your first priority is to nurture the two lives you and Jon have created. They are your legacy; they are the gifts you are giving to the world and to yourselves. I suppose I am overly idealistic about

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1162960629267275082006-11-07T20:26:00.000-08:002006-11-07T20:37:09.286-08:00

Dear Lynn Ruth, I have been silent for quite awhile because my life's been overly busy and it has been affecting those around me I love most. I have decided to take some steps back and not be superwoman anymore but only really do those things well I really care for, i.e. my husband, children, my work and my writing. I don't want to lose what you have lost Lynn Ruth and sometimes when we are busy,

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1162808719737878532006-11-06T02:05:00.000-08:002006-11-18T20:51:27.736-08:00

My heart breaks when I realize how little I have learned about human communication and true understanding. I have been trying lately to HEAR the people I deal with and love them for what they actually are, not what I think they should be. The challenge here is that so many of my connections are cross generational. The conduct I believe is to be expected is well mannered...yes that is the word.

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1160897023079984222006-10-14T23:40:00.000-07:002006-10-15T00:23:43.130-07:00

My dear Inez: Only idiots are not afraid. I am petrified all the time. I know I seem fearless to you but in reality, my heart is in my mouth far too much of the time when I stand on stage and sing my foolish songs, make smart remarks and hope they are comedy instead of slop, or tell my stories and pray I don't forget half the words. The difference between my fear and that of the cowards

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1159777274277427622006-10-02T00:42:00.000-07:002006-10-02T01:21:14.353-07:00

I do not believe in letting life happen to me. I believe that I must determine where I want to be in a year, in five years, in ten... and then figure out what it will take to get there. This sounds strong and very admirable, Inez, but I assure you it has been a difficult, discouraging and all too convoluted a road to follow. Somerset Maugham said that if he knew your parents' status in life and

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1158732526693139952006-09-19T22:50:00.000-07:002006-09-19T23:08:46.706-07:00

Dear Lynn Ruth,My father passed away on August 3rd. He was ill but died of a massive heart attack. We flew back to Holland to attend the funeral and be with my mom. Lots has happened since-- a new semester starting, the kids starting a new school year, Jon starting a new job and me trying to stick to a Dec deadline for my book for Ohio UP. The routine and normalcy make one forget but memories of

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1154126614730542412006-07-28T15:31:00.000-07:002006-07-28T15:43:34.743-07:00

After puberty I became much more introverted and was most comfortable inside my shell. Any way to stand out or be different, I shunned. I am still painfully self-conscious sometimes and wish I could live like I could not give a damn, but I do...My daughter on the other hand shows me that it can be done. As a toddler she preferred to strip completely in public places and then celebrate (!) while

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1153081970720451922006-07-16T13:04:00.000-07:002006-07-25T11:58:17.003-07:00

One of the hardest things for me to understand is that other people's opinions are valid to them even though they seem ridiculous or out of proportion to me. Their standards of conduct may seem primitive or savage to me but to them they make perfect sense. I have a teen-aged neighbor, Kevin Michael Kavanaugh who has decided to hate me for absolutely no reason that I can tell. He has determined

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1152125556487307222006-07-05T11:51:00.000-07:002006-07-15T00:13:05.586-07:00

Lynn Ruth Miller441 Brighton RoadPacifica, CA 94044THE BLAHS I hate the blahs. I like to feel happy, sad, hysterical, excited…but I cannot stand being blah. It is so …so nothing. It isn’t strong enough to be grief. It isn’t positive enough to be anger. It is ennui at its worst. The moment I sense that my life is going nowhere and every day is a repeat of the day before, I take strong,

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1150844120573967922006-06-20T15:27:00.000-07:002006-06-20T15:55:20.600-07:00

Hamilton Basso, the author I have written a biography of, compared creativity or rather, writing novels, to climbing mountains. Once you've reached the top, you may be done with a book but you see another mountain looming in the distance and you cannot withstand the urge to climb that one, too. And so the journey starts all over again. I have been thinking about this lately because we have been

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1150510899918748182006-06-16T19:20:00.000-07:002006-06-16T23:18:15.146-07:00

CREATIVE LIVING Everyone’s life is his work of art. The way you dress, the conversation you create, the space you live in…all are visible evidence of your unique take on life. I think of creativity as a continuum and we are all at different places on that scale at different stages of our lives. And at each period, we use our ingenuity to take control of our lives without creating chaos in

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1149924693928557632006-06-09T23:14:00.000-07:002006-06-14T16:30:26.523-07:00

As a child, I was taught to give to others and to share what I have with those less fortunate. That philosophy has faded in our "Me first" world and that is not totally a bad thing. My determination to be selfless results in a lot of passive-agressive behavior that sends double messages to people and creates anger and stress in me. I find myself furious at friends who are only taking me up on

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148263410400580162006-05-21T18:59:00.000-07:002006-06-06T22:47:40.010-07:00

Peter Viereck died recently. Academics in the humanities knows him for being "conservative" which is not necessarily the same "conservative" of Washington DC. I don't care about labels. I just love these lines by Viereck:Though life ails just a day faster than art allaysThough age rots out before it can learn to sing trueSing anyhow. Continue.

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148263133522281252006-05-21T18:42:00.000-07:002006-05-21T18:58:53.543-07:00

All I can say about mothers is that I have become bit milder since I've become a mother myself. My mother was not perfect as I am not perfect either to my children. ...and you don't have to have biological children to be a mother. In lots of ways, Lynn Ruth, you're the Jewish mother I never had but wanted for my children. Come to think of it, you are a mother to many "children" because of who you

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148019577774703182006-05-18T22:35:00.000-07:002006-05-18T23:19:37.820-07:00

I met a woman whose mother is dying of cancer. She devotes every afternoon to care for her mom and often her evenings as well, because they do not live together. She has given up most of her normal activities to do this and she is thrilled for the opportunity give back love and concern to a woman who has given her so much. I cannot imagine feeling this way and that is a terrible loss both for

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146875665383717812006-05-05T17:19:00.000-07:002006-05-05T17:34:25.403-07:00

Lynn Ruth, Do not fire your Brazilian cleaning lady. The older I get, the more difficult life seems to become. I used to think in terms of black and white but these days I see all the different shades of grey. As I am writing this, a bird races by my window with twigs in its beaks;(s)he is building a nest under the eaves of the garage. This bird does not have to think to about immigration issues-

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146810974369638872006-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:002006-05-04T23:36:14.383-07:00

Immigration puzzles me as well I hire a Brazilian woman to clean my house She is illegal ... should I fire her? Should I let her children go hungry because I won't hire an illegal immigrant?BUT what am I saying about my own family and about you who had to work so hard to become a legal resident of this country? Am I negating your rights as a human being and the efforts youmade to follow rules

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146810527203768982006-05-04T23:01:00.000-07:002006-05-04T23:28:47.216-07:00

I cannot seem to erase my fury at Rene Villanueva and Richard Romanski for the evil they have done to me and that is a terrible flaw in my own character. I look at people like that who are very proud of the way they got something from an old lady even though she had the contract that proved she had a right to her money or her car. They feel victorious and very clever. Rene is delighted that by

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146605505718251362006-05-02T14:19:00.000-07:002006-05-02T14:31:45.736-07:00

I feel mixed about the immigration issue. Like most immigrants to this country I had to battle with the INS, a humongous bureaucracy that lost my papers twice. It was agony and since a lot of people like me play by the rules, I think no exceptions should be made except in asylum cases. Just because you pay taxes but walked across the border illegally, does not mean you are more legitimate than

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0