tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-124624102011-06-07T23:19:42.699-07:00EXLORING THE HUMAN CONDITION, ITS UPS AND ITS DOWNS AND ITS VICTORIESInez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.comBlogger1241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-80375035731102084982007-10-18T18:07:00.000-07:002007-10-18T18:09:44.402-07:00

Dear blog readers of SEEKING-- this is to let you know that I have been creating my own website in the last few days. Go to www.inezhollander.info, press on BLOG on the welcome page (and do check out the other pages) and continue the blogging experience with me. Hope to see you there,Thanks,Inez

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-55699665522889456962007-09-01T22:47:00.000-07:002007-09-01T22:58:24.960-07:00

I haven't blogged for months but received the sweetest message from Mike, who found me and Lynn Ruth by accident. Lynn Ruth and I have been waxing on and on about what wisdom is and how we should try to keep focused on staying true to ourselves...Lynn Ruth has more wisdom to offer than me because she's been more places, learned more and has written more about it and more insightfully. I still

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118211677469651542007-03-19T22:41:00.000-07:002007-03-19T23:03:59.379-07:00

Lynn Ruth, you have always struck me as someone who is driven and knows what she wants to do in life. You know your diamond, yet making it shine is not always the easiest part... At 41 I still don't quite know what my diamond is and while I think I want to write and be read, I do have other talents too that I do not explore because I write, work and have to take care of my family. Writing

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1172740619317141222007-03-01T00:49:00.000-08:002007-03-01T01:17:00.070-08:00

This past several weeks have been filled with small, hurtful annoyances and these annoyances have taken up far more energy that I care to admit. I was speaking to a Buddhist friend of mine and she said that my only goal in living my life should be to polish the diamond that is whom I am becoming. If I concentrate on that, the hurts and face-slaps, the insults and upsets will fall away. I have

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1170841540222457662007-02-07T01:04:00.000-08:002007-02-07T01:45:40.616-08:00

My marvelous friend Nick Leonard observed that the nicest people we know are those plagued with depression and personal insecurities while the nasty, pushy ambitious people we both avoid because they are so unpleasant seem to forge ahead on their chosen path, shouting their successes to the world. Why is that?It breaks my heart that the sensitive, loving people I care about suffer from

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1165989078666146372006-12-12T21:28:00.000-08:002007-01-09T06:14:17.796-08:00

Last week I sent my manuscript Silenced Voices to Ohio University Press. Whenever I send stuff out (big stuff this time, all 250 pp long) I am reminded of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird in which she talks about the screaming insecuriy she feels once that story or manuscript is out of her hands. A book is never finished and certainly a non-fiction book like mine: new research surfaces sometimes even

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1163929817103952072006-11-19T01:11:00.000-08:002006-11-19T01:50:17.946-08:00

I think each of us knows the direction our life should take but so many outside influences divert us that we often wake up one morning and say, "How did I land in THIS mess?" To me, Inez, your first priority is to nurture the two lives you and Jon have created. They are your legacy; they are the gifts you are giving to the world and to yourselves. I suppose I am overly idealistic about

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1162960629267275082006-11-07T20:26:00.000-08:002006-11-07T20:37:09.286-08:00

Dear Lynn Ruth, I have been silent for quite awhile because my life's been overly busy and it has been affecting those around me I love most. I have decided to take some steps back and not be superwoman anymore but only really do those things well I really care for, i.e. my husband, children, my work and my writing. I don't want to lose what you have lost Lynn Ruth and sometimes when we are busy,

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1162808719737878532006-11-06T02:05:00.000-08:002006-11-18T20:51:27.736-08:00

My heart breaks when I realize how little I have learned about human communication and true understanding. I have been trying lately to HEAR the people I deal with and love them for what they actually are, not what I think they should be. The challenge here is that so many of my connections are cross generational. The conduct I believe is to be expected is well mannered...yes that is the word.

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1160897023079984222006-10-14T23:40:00.000-07:002006-10-15T00:23:43.130-07:00

My dear Inez: Only idiots are not afraid. I am petrified all the time. I know I seem fearless to you but in reality, my heart is in my mouth far too much of the time when I stand on stage and sing my foolish songs, make smart remarks and hope they are comedy instead of slop, or tell my stories and pray I don't forget half the words. The difference between my fear and that of the cowards

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1159777274277427622006-10-02T00:42:00.000-07:002006-10-02T01:21:14.353-07:00

I do not believe in letting life happen to me. I believe that I must determine where I want to be in a year, in five years, in ten... and then figure out what it will take to get there. This sounds strong and very admirable, Inez, but I assure you it has been a difficult, discouraging and all too convoluted a road to follow. Somerset Maugham said that if he knew your parents' status in life and

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1158732526693139952006-09-19T22:50:00.000-07:002006-09-19T23:08:46.706-07:00

Dear Lynn Ruth,My father passed away on August 3rd. He was ill but died of a massive heart attack. We flew back to Holland to attend the funeral and be with my mom. Lots has happened since-- a new semester starting, the kids starting a new school year, Jon starting a new job and me trying to stick to a Dec deadline for my book for Ohio UP. The routine and normalcy make one forget but memories of

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1154126614730542412006-07-28T15:31:00.000-07:002006-07-28T15:43:34.743-07:00

After puberty I became much more introverted and was most comfortable inside my shell. Any way to stand out or be different, I shunned. I am still painfully self-conscious sometimes and wish I could live like I could not give a damn, but I do...My daughter on the other hand shows me that it can be done. As a toddler she preferred to strip completely in public places and then celebrate (!) while

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1153081970720451922006-07-16T13:04:00.000-07:002006-07-25T11:58:17.003-07:00

One of the hardest things for me to understand is that other people's opinions are valid to them even though they seem ridiculous or out of proportion to me. Their standards of conduct may seem primitive or savage to me but to them they make perfect sense. I have a teen-aged neighbor, Kevin Michael Kavanaugh who has decided to hate me for absolutely no reason that I can tell. He has determined

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1152125556487307222006-07-05T11:51:00.000-07:002006-07-15T00:13:05.586-07:00

Lynn Ruth Miller441 Brighton RoadPacifica, CA 94044THE BLAHS I hate the blahs. I like to feel happy, sad, hysterical, excited…but I cannot stand being blah. It is so …so nothing. It isn’t strong enough to be grief. It isn’t positive enough to be anger. It is ennui at its worst. The moment I sense that my life is going nowhere and every day is a repeat of the day before, I take strong,

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1150844120573967922006-06-20T15:27:00.000-07:002006-06-20T15:55:20.600-07:00

Hamilton Basso, the author I have written a biography of, compared creativity or rather, writing novels, to climbing mountains. Once you've reached the top, you may be done with a book but you see another mountain looming in the distance and you cannot withstand the urge to climb that one, too. And so the journey starts all over again. I have been thinking about this lately because we have been

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1150510899918748182006-06-16T19:20:00.000-07:002006-06-16T23:18:15.146-07:00

CREATIVE LIVING Everyone’s life is his work of art. The way you dress, the conversation you create, the space you live in…all are visible evidence of your unique take on life. I think of creativity as a continuum and we are all at different places on that scale at different stages of our lives. And at each period, we use our ingenuity to take control of our lives without creating chaos in

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1149924693928557632006-06-09T23:14:00.000-07:002006-06-14T16:30:26.523-07:00

As a child, I was taught to give to others and to share what I have with those less fortunate. That philosophy has faded in our "Me first" world and that is not totally a bad thing. My determination to be selfless results in a lot of passive-agressive behavior that sends double messages to people and creates anger and stress in me. I find myself furious at friends who are only taking me up on

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148263410400580162006-05-21T18:59:00.000-07:002006-06-06T22:47:40.010-07:00

Peter Viereck died recently. Academics in the humanities knows him for being "conservative" which is not necessarily the same "conservative" of Washington DC. I don't care about labels. I just love these lines by Viereck:Though life ails just a day faster than art allaysThough age rots out before it can learn to sing trueSing anyhow. Continue.

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148263133522281252006-05-21T18:42:00.000-07:002006-05-21T18:58:53.543-07:00

All I can say about mothers is that I have become bit milder since I've become a mother myself. My mother was not perfect as I am not perfect either to my children. ...and you don't have to have biological children to be a mother. In lots of ways, Lynn Ruth, you're the Jewish mother I never had but wanted for my children. Come to think of it, you are a mother to many "children" because of who you

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1148019577774703182006-05-18T22:35:00.000-07:002006-05-18T23:19:37.820-07:00

I met a woman whose mother is dying of cancer. She devotes every afternoon to care for her mom and often her evenings as well, because they do not live together. She has given up most of her normal activities to do this and she is thrilled for the opportunity give back love and concern to a woman who has given her so much. I cannot imagine feeling this way and that is a terrible loss both for

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146875665383717812006-05-05T17:19:00.000-07:002006-05-05T17:34:25.403-07:00

Lynn Ruth, Do not fire your Brazilian cleaning lady. The older I get, the more difficult life seems to become. I used to think in terms of black and white but these days I see all the different shades of grey. As I am writing this, a bird races by my window with twigs in its beaks;(s)he is building a nest under the eaves of the garage. This bird does not have to think to about immigration issues-

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146810974369638872006-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:002006-05-04T23:36:14.383-07:00

Immigration puzzles me as well I hire a Brazilian woman to clean my house She is illegal ... should I fire her? Should I let her children go hungry because I won't hire an illegal immigrant?BUT what am I saying about my own family and about you who had to work so hard to become a legal resident of this country? Am I negating your rights as a human being and the efforts youmade to follow rules

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146810527203768982006-05-04T23:01:00.000-07:002006-05-04T23:28:47.216-07:00

I cannot seem to erase my fury at Rene Villanueva and Richard Romanski for the evil they have done to me and that is a terrible flaw in my own character. I look at people like that who are very proud of the way they got something from an old lady even though she had the contract that proved she had a right to her money or her car. They feel victorious and very clever. Rene is delighted that by

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1146605505718251362006-05-02T14:19:00.000-07:002006-05-02T14:31:45.736-07:00

I feel mixed about the immigration issue. Like most immigrants to this country I had to battle with the INS, a humongous bureaucracy that lost my papers twice. It was agony and since a lot of people like me play by the rules, I think no exceptions should be made except in asylum cases. Just because you pay taxes but walked across the border illegally, does not mean you are more legitimate than

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1145940851850545772006-04-24T20:44:00.000-07:002006-04-24T21:54:11.976-07:00

I think of myself as a humanitarian and as a liberal,kind,giving,charitable person. However when I think of the government making laws to protect ILLEGAL immigrants, I bristle. Cruel as it seems, I am against giving these people anything but orders to leave the country under their own steam. I do not want my taxes to pay for their passage home, their medical care, food, shelter or special

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1145417743780356512006-04-18T20:04:00.000-07:002006-12-05T13:19:13.346-08:00

I have a negative, calloused attitude about the homeless people in our community. They make me angry and I have no respect for them. This rejection of human beings is so unlike me in every other way that I am amazed at myself. I look at bedraggled people standing on street corners taking money and doing nothing to earn it and I recall how I have struggled ever since my last husband left me 43

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1143671025489491222006-03-29T14:23:00.000-08:002006-03-29T18:22:16.006-08:00

At the corner of Telegraph and Bancroft in Berkeley sits a guy, crosslegged, as if he is meditating on the countless pedestrians that rush by on their way to the Berkeley campus. The man has a dirty face, a scraggly beard and tattered clothes. He is homeless, needs a good bath and a nice warm meal. Yet none of the passers-by seem to notice him even though his life is just as sacred as that of the

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1141705196581982672006-03-06T20:09:00.000-08:002006-03-06T20:19:56.596-08:00

I grew up in a family where people talked but hardly every listened, and as I grew older I knew that was the one thing I would try to do better: listen. People think we listen solely with our ears but listening is so much more than that: it is being receptive to what is not said and heard. We listen with our whole body which is why we need social relationships because sending e-mails or

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1139214790685260752006-02-06T00:05:00.000-08:002006-02-06T00:33:10.706-08:00

One of the most difficult challenges of human intercourse is to make ourselves truly understood. I am supposedly a wordsmith and yet all too often I say something in haste that is totally misconstrued. I think that is a major problem in all our relationships. We "read" people by their mannerisms, how they dress, their voice inflections and the way they present their words, as well as the

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1138937649774540262006-02-02T19:07:00.000-08:002006-02-02T19:34:09.786-08:00

I am part of a mentoring group in which I am a mentor to a Berkeley student who is exploring his/her vocation and I have noticed that in my mentoring I am doing a lot of self-reflection, hoping that the lessons I've learned are a warning or a reminder for my mentee to choose or lose a certain career path or vocation. I hardly have all the answers and in a sense I feel more jaded by life, a little

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1138863722755031332006-02-01T22:32:00.000-08:002006-02-01T23:02:02.776-08:00

I don't qualify for government programs. I was removed from disability pay and down-sized to early retirement when I was 69 because Ohio didn't think I was worth supporting anymore. Simple as that. they noted that I taught so I could pay for food on the 375.00 they gave me and they balked. I didn't work for the right people to get social security. I save the money I earn so I have

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1138379535867907192006-01-27T08:05:00.000-08:002006-01-27T08:34:49.510-08:00

Dear Lynn Ruth,I am writing this one to you rather than use the comment option-- so every one can see that I see and acknowledge you. And I am not a fellow grandmother, though if I were, I'd like dick jokes, too. People talk a lot these days about how polarized our society has become since the last two elections. I don't think we are...we self-segregate-- soccer moms talk to soccer moms and

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1138352921981463712006-01-27T00:42:00.000-08:002006-01-27T01:08:42.033-08:00

I have now reached an age when people consider me insignificant. I am a single, elderly woman. I have no importance in their minds and my existence pulls no weight in the greater picture. Therefore they do not take my opinions or my needs seriously; my presence has no impact and my sanctity as a human being is ignored. I realized this to my unending dismay in that horrible court case where

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1137468902795339692006-01-16T19:16:00.000-08:002006-01-16T19:35:02.813-08:00

As I look back on the decisions I have made in my life and the direction these decisions have taken me I am convinced that some unknown force, call it fate, call it random chance, has guided me to the life I live today and that life is indeed where I want to be at this moment. The teaching career I was so sure I wanted seemed to fade into a journalism career that melted into creative non-fiction

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1136519079017908872006-01-05T19:33:00.000-08:002006-01-05T19:44:39.100-08:00

My son (9) just told me this afternoon (while I lay on the couch riding the waves of nausea because of a blinding migraine): "In five billion years the sun will expire and take all of us with us in a burning inferno." This started me on the discussion of mortality, yes with a migraine-- easy to do because when the pain gets really bad I'm at my most suicidal. Like I have said earlier, I

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1136516614293808812006-01-05T18:45:00.000-08:002006-01-05T19:03:34.313-08:00

I think my biggest enemy has always been myself. I have held my accomplishments up to the stellar achievements of others and felt that the quality of what I do has fallen short. I think that is very sad for me because I have soured my quality of life. I mean to change that attitude. Life is not a football game. There is no winner. Life is a golf game where your competition is your previous

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1136515446515899072006-01-05T18:27:00.000-08:002006-01-05T18:44:06.533-08:00

In our society, money is the ultimate punishment and the greatest reward. Note how many e-mails we receive telling us we have won a lottery we never entered and offering us something apparently for nothing. It is now 2006, and for the past 72 years I have spent my life trying to juggle what monies I have so that I can maximize what they provide for me in material necessities and comforts. My

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1135573276018139852005-12-25T20:27:00.000-08:002005-12-25T21:01:16.040-08:00

Pacifica has several graveside memorials. The most horrifying is the memorial by our golf course for the death & injury of several teenagers in a truck driven by a drunken over 16 teen. Two of the children were killed, the others injured and the young man is being tried for murder. This in itself is horrifying and morally wrong to me although it is not legally incorrect. The young man was

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1135566141518317522005-12-25T18:49:00.000-08:002005-12-25T19:02:21.556-08:00

How many of you out there make new year's resolutions? And I am not talking about starting the gazillionth diet January 1st, which you all forget about on January 2nd, because you have a craving need for that chocolate after contemplating the impossibility of sticking to your new year's resolutions...I am talking about trying to really change-- change jobs, move to a different country, ditch the

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1134457951498910532005-12-12T22:55:00.000-08:002005-12-12T23:12:31.526-08:00

I agree and disagree with you Inez. I do not give to organized charities because I am paying public relations people to put intellectually insulting ads on radio and television and sending barely one penny of my dollar to the needy. I think charities are as obnoxious and grasping as merchants during this season. I have a friend who goes with her children to a soup kitchen to help serve every

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1134427953151781952005-12-12T14:43:00.000-08:002005-12-12T14:52:33.166-08:00

I read the other day that the average American spends $700 on gifts this year...and I was shocked by this number: what does it say about us as a culture that we spend so much on things rather than working on creating a memory at Xmas?! My own children can only talk about gifts these days and nag us about what we got for them. I have been trying to tell them that it is not about receiving but

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1134374092979142042005-12-11T23:43:00.000-08:002005-12-11T23:54:52.990-08:00

My friend Tamryn and I have been discussing the ramifications of Munchausen's disease and carrying it a step beyond a mother creating symptoms that convince her child and others that he is sick. I expand it to include the Oh My God illnesses everyone has and does not realize is their "out" for avoiding an uncomfortable situation. I have certainly done this altogether too many times and I will

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1134318389727992192005-12-11T08:25:00.000-08:002005-12-11T08:26:29.753-08:00

I just saw a movie that explored our need to be spiritually centered and talked about the Jewish mandate Tikkum Olam which means to make the world a better place. Each time we do a good thing: water a flower, help a struggling child, send a thoughtful wish....all these things make the world lovelier for us all EVEN IF YOU AS THE DOER RECEIVE NO RETURN. During the holiday season we often give

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1133977136425257002005-12-07T09:35:00.000-08:002005-12-07T09:38:56.440-08:00

Yes, it's that time of year again, so I hereby enclose our Xmas letter in which I am trying to debunk the obnoxious genre of the "look what our perfect family has done perfectly in 2005!"Dear Friends and Family:Ho, ho, ho…I don’t know whether it is because Christmas seemed to begin before Thanksgiving this year or whether I am getting really old and time just seems stuck on the Fast Forward

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1133212471290140992005-11-28T12:59:00.000-08:002005-11-28T13:14:31.320-08:00

I think everyone has the right to be fat but health reasons should always remain the overbearing concern of why people who are overweight should try to lose some (and that does include me). What I object to is not the fat factor of this country but the projections we make: that thin is beautiful, that beautiful people are automatically nice people etc etc. My daughter already asked me when she

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1133159486158946852005-11-27T22:04:00.000-08:002005-11-27T22:31:26.176-08:00

My dear friend John Ambrose has a granddaughter Emily who is fat. My sister is fat. ...300 pounds fat. I just saw a play where one of the characters was very fat...and I reacted with superiority and disapproval.(I am, by the way, thin.) I saw this darling little child, Emily eating with great gusto and IN MY HEAD I thought, "Someone ought to make that kid stop eating so much junk food or

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1133157610187349572005-11-27T21:55:00.000-08:002005-11-27T22:00:10.203-08:00

LETTING GO by Lynn Ruth November 27, 2005I wonder where we need to draw the line between standing up for ourselves and letting go of the abuse all of us must endure as we plod through life. To catch my readers up on the status of the appeal I lost, I applied for a re-hearing because of a miscarriage of justice and the presiding judge George Miram sent my request back to the pro-tem judge Richard

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1130310646606719022005-10-25T23:48:00.000-07:002005-10-26T00:10:46.613-07:00

The old cliche, "Thinking Makes It So, just might be right on the money. I have been cheated and misused by contractors for so long that I have come to expect that I will be over-charged,and get half as much result for twice as much money. Indeed that is just what has happened to me for the past ten years to the tune of over 90,000 dollars. I became afraid to hire any contractor for any job and

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1129603837128558842005-10-17T19:38:00.000-07:002005-10-17T19:50:37.136-07:00

I have been convinced that an after-life is the kind of placebo Christians have dreamed up to comfort themselves or keep their sorry asses in check. As for near-death experiences: I think the light at the end of the tunnel is the result of a few brain cells lingering in the after-glow of dying. After that, it is darkness visible, the big nada, the big black hole of where we came from. I have

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1129534056725098742005-10-17T00:18:00.000-07:002005-10-17T00:27:36.733-07:00

I just got a birthday card that shows a little girl looking up at God and asking WHAT IF IT'S ALL BULL SHIT? I have been thinking about that phrase and perhaps in an existentialist way it IS all bull shit. We care so much; we do so little; we hate; we love; we work to achieve and fail to accomplish, we win prizes, we lose face and what does it all amount to in the long run? I guess if you

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1129428289790066012005-10-15T18:58:00.000-07:002005-10-15T19:04:49.800-07:00

Lynn Ruth,You raise an interesting point. Maybe our world would not be interesting anymore if there were only good?With all the cloning that's going on, man may well have a shot at immortality but would immortality be fun? I think Jonathan Swift wrote something marvellous about that in the Tale of a Tub-- if we were to grow old forever while the world renews itself and we don't necessarily grow

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1129426946028757552005-10-15T18:08:00.000-07:002005-10-15T18:42:26.036-07:00

We all have a picture of ourselves that makes us comfortable and that picture in our heads is not always correct. Whenever someone says or does something that makes us doubt our veracity we fight to redraw ourselves in their eyes the way into the image we want them to perceive. I have been thinking about why Rene was so determined to fight for that car when she has plenty of money to pay for

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128746944853134512005-10-07T21:13:00.000-07:002005-10-07T21:49:04.860-07:00

Lynn Ruth,As always I could not agree more with what you have to tell us. I grew up in a fairly conventional family and because of that I always thought, growing up, that love would arrive in my life like a highschool diploma-- a thing that would just be there when I was ready for it. But I dreaded it, too, for I saw all those pimplefaced boys, the jocks, the jerks, the dorks and...most of them

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128735485885378882005-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:002005-10-07T18:38:05.893-07:00

I have spoken to three women in the past few weeks who say "I would just love to find a man to be with me."The truth is that they only want this person to be there whenTHEY want him.My dear friend Alan is in the same plight. He wants a woman to love. But he wants her on HIS terms; quiet when he is reading, hungry when he wants dinner, there when he wants to go to a concert or a play. I

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128734281407580052005-10-07T17:51:00.000-07:002005-10-07T18:18:01.413-07:00

Inez always says her son William is an old soul and my friend Joanna says that often we return to this earth to finish up all the things we have left undone. I cannot recall a time that I felt a child. I often felt helpless and confused, but I have always felt I understood the implication of the things that happened to me and saw the bigger picture in life's events. I have been thinking now

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128525539176129922005-10-05T07:56:00.000-07:002005-10-05T08:18:59.183-07:00

Lynn Ruth, it is hard to respond to your previous post. Although I am a parent myself, I don't know how I would react if my daughter ended up walking the same path. However, I do feel that our generation is, in a sense, overinvolved; we are the so-called helicopter parents who, when things go wrong, helicopter in to do a rescue mission. There is something like personal responsibility and learning

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128490653831756812005-10-04T21:52:00.000-07:002005-10-04T22:37:33.840-07:00

My friends Mary and Art have an only child, Christine whom they have boasted about to anyone who would listen for her immense talent, beauty, wisdom and intelligence since I met them about 6 years ago. Christine is indeed a beautiful marvelous child who rarely put forth any special effort to achieve anything and because of that did not excel at any of the things her proud parents exposed her to

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1128407409195539072005-10-03T23:08:00.000-07:002005-10-03T23:30:09.206-07:00

You gave up, you say, and the establishment has won, you saybut in the grand scheme of things,Renee has lost.The older I get, the more confused I am about purpose, destiny and the right way to live. Most of the time I feel inadequate and weak but I think or rather I hope I know the difference between right and wrong. What happened to you, Lynn Ruth, was wrong...a horrible failure of a system that

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1127415713574859552005-09-22T11:13:00.000-07:002005-09-22T12:01:53.580-07:00

The establishment has won. I have spent ten horrid days agonizing over the injustice of the court system. I have begged and pleaded for legal help and have been refused help by four lawyers because there was not enough money involved. I have lost...but I have lost more than 1600 dollars. I have lost all my faith in the legal system and its capacity for justice. The steps I must take are not

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1127267513699722052005-09-20T18:22:00.000-07:002005-09-20T18:51:53.706-07:00

When we are hurt over and over again the best choice of action seems like retreat but in reality the only way we can overcome that sense of being a victim and of going nowhere no matter how much one tries is to force ourselves to take positive action. We need to give direction to our life ourselves. No one can do it for us. Then we enable ourselves to move toward our dreams however slowly.

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1126760561090699932005-09-14T21:43:00.000-07:002005-09-14T22:02:41.100-07:00

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that a judge ruled against me on a case I had already won for no possible reason other than that I offended him in some way. It could have been my age, my attitude, my manner that reminded him of a person he didn't like but whatever it was, he refused to enter my letter of confirmation that I had sold my car for 3,000 as evidence because it was hearsay

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1126381611310118562005-09-10T12:30:00.000-07:002005-09-10T12:46:51.316-07:00

Lynn Ruth, I don't know what to say as you are exposed to sheer evil. I too am beginning to believe that the evil bullies in the world own it and run it. Yet you cannot abandon your core values even if that means you may be vulnerable again to fraud and deceit. I don't know how that woman can live with herself and go to bed at night thinking she lives a virtuous life. Or she may be in denial,

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1126378755575360162005-09-10T11:33:00.000-07:002005-09-10T11:59:15.586-07:00

I went to Superior Court yesterday to defend myself. Rene, the woman who refused to pay the balance she owed on my 1994 Toyota and lost the judgement in Small Claims Court appealed the decision.She presented as new evidence a fraudulent letter from her daughter asserting that I had offered her the car for $1400.00 (the cost was and still is $3000) and introduced an expert who said that it was

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1126066137940286612005-09-06T20:35:00.000-07:002005-09-06T21:08:57.946-07:00

I have just spend a month performing in Scotland with amazing success. I taught a hands on art class in the mornings and at night I performed in a comedy show I produced and then went to another cabaret show produced by Kerry Norman from Oxford and did outragous singing and stripping to an enthusastic, loving audience. My art show sold out every day and although the comedy show was not a smash

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1126064108991067852005-09-06T20:14:00.000-07:002005-09-06T20:35:08.996-07:00

There is nothing like a puppy to help you reconnect with who you are, Inez. When I got out of the hospital after my four-month incarceration, I decided to get a dog to help me return to health. My reasoning was that I needed to be outside in the fresh air (at that time it WAS fresh) and one way to do that was to walk a dog. I still remember the day I found David, a small black bundle of love

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1124040558011829012005-08-14T10:19:00.000-07:002005-08-14T10:29:18.030-07:00

This weekend I read an interesting piece in the SF Chronicle about the slow life movement and the so-called simplicity circles people are forming to downshift in their careers/lives, to live a little instead of work a lot. I feel this has been one of my running themes and I want to explore it more, because I too, feel pressured by the rat race of work, kids and a husband who works hard. One woman

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1122476782526764552005-07-27T07:54:00.000-07:002005-07-27T08:06:22.536-07:00

Since I have gone back to work, I feel there are not enough hours in the day to run the house, do laundry, be an involved parent for the children, grocery shop, cook etc. Since I have gone back to work I feel I need a nice fifties housewife who keeps the house clean and waits for the children with milk and chocolate chip cookies after they come out of school at times that I can't be there because

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1121358159454411032005-07-14T09:13:00.000-07:002005-07-14T09:22:39.470-07:00

Lynn Ruth, when I was in my teens I wanted to be everyone's friend and have as many friends as possible. In my twenties I realized that having a few good friends is a very special thing. Now that I have almost hit 40, I have become way more laidback and realize life is not supposed to be a popularity contest. The number of real friends, that is, the people I could call in the middle of the night

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1121063910005134572005-07-10T23:28:00.000-07:002005-07-10T23:38:30.006-07:00

I won the case! I got my judgment and the woman who refused to pay what she promised for my Toyota station wagon owes me the balance plus court costs. And yet I do not feel victorious. I feel that I trusted and gave of myself to someone who was not worthy of the love I tried to lavish on her. I feel that the "good deal" I offered with a sale $2000 below blue book value and a no interest

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1121063277954839302005-07-10T23:04:00.000-07:002005-07-10T23:27:57.960-07:00

I share your frustration Inez. I know that to write, and that is my passion, I must be alone, in a quiet place. I must try to penetrate what I really think and feel beneath and beyond my actions. What motivates me? What are my true beliefs and how are they colored by prejudices I think are fact?Yet to make my writing communicate...and that, after all is the purpose of writing, I need to pull

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1120934326343643452005-07-09T11:27:00.000-07:002005-07-09T11:38:46.350-07:00

While I do not want to take away from Lynn Ruth's busy life elixir, I've been having the uncomfortable feeling lately that my generation (baby boomers) does not want to miss out on anything, does not want its children to miss out on anything and thus becomes overextended in many ways. Some of us have lost the drive to do one thing particularly well, and that means dropping other things. I find

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1120932746027873912005-07-09T11:03:00.000-07:002005-07-09T11:12:26.026-07:00

I have never taken a real vacation and I am almost 72 years old. I think that is because I never want to escape from what I do. It would be a different story and I would have a different attitude if I worked for someone else who orchestrated eight or ten hours of my day. As it is I have been the conductor of my own symphony of life since I was 36 years old. The music I hear and do, be it

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1120932163823204642005-07-09T10:54:00.000-07:002005-07-09T11:02:43.826-07:00

It seems that living my life has a frenetic quality that accelerates with age. I cannot pack enough things I want to do in between the things I must do each day. I sometimes think it is that urgency that gives me the enthusiasm and the drive to live each moment as fully as I can. I have many more placid friends and sometimes I envy them as they stroll aimlessly through their days. I would

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1120920708408223162005-07-09T07:43:00.000-07:002005-07-09T07:51:48.413-07:00

This is our last day in Vail and we've had a glorious time. When we lived in Denver we'd go op to the mountains now and then and enjoy it, but now that we live in California, it seems Colorado has gained in beauty, which it has not of course: we're just not used to seeing it anymore so it's newer, better and more beautiful.Vacation is a funny thing-- another invention of our consumer society that

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1120530795691156832005-07-04T19:27:00.000-07:002005-07-04T19:33:15.700-07:00

We're in Colorado this week: visiting old friends in Denver and seeing the majesty of the great American West: Utah and now Colorado. Snobs in Europe bash America for having no "culture, museums, history" but when you see these mountains, the red rocks, the picture perfect skies you don't need all that Old World stuffiness, for the American West is one big great open air Museum and if you can't

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1119747636933233732005-06-25T17:55:00.000-07:002005-06-26T19:20:55.976-07:00

We all make mistakes. It makes us human and it makes us real. The worst thing is not owning up to a mistake, as this President does. During one of the debates with Kerry Bush was asked if he knew of any mistakes he had made. His face went blank and he could not come up with any. There's a lack of introspection with this White House and a lack of introspection means not learning from mistakes...so

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1119144988144765472005-06-18T18:25:00.000-07:002005-06-18T18:36:28.146-07:00

When I look back at the judgments I have made, I cannot believe how stupid so many of them have been and I know that indeed hindsight is very, very wise. However I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a mistake. Instead, I think we make the best decision we can under the circumstances using all the information we have processed thus far. It is consoling but also sad to

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118935557244995352005-06-16T08:23:00.000-07:002005-06-16T08:25:57.250-07:00

Hereby I enclose the letter I sent to my kids,Dear William and Caroline,I traveled to and through Holland all by myself and missed you two (and daddy) every step of the way. I missed William’s sweet hugs, his “how ya doin’mom?” and even, yes, the little onions that are growing out of his armpits. You know, the French think that scent sexy but Americans thinks it’s gross. The Dutch are

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118730415354215762005-06-13T23:08:00.000-07:002005-06-13T23:26:55.356-07:00

I saw a cartoon once that showed three skeletons It was captioned, "Three women waiting for the perfect man. Indeed there is no one perfect match for any of us, but I do believe that some people are meant to come together be it for marriage, for a meeting, for friendship or for a beautiful moment. I have a friend who says nothing is by chance. I am not sure of that but I do know that

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118378584433007132005-06-09T21:31:00.000-07:002005-06-09T21:43:04.443-07:00

I have often thought about what friendship really is and I think it is human connection. We often think that a friend is forever but I don't think that is true Life is growth and as we move on to different phases of our lives, our interests modify and adapt to thoses new goals. That is when old friendships lapse and new ones form. Someone commented on how very many friends I have and I said,"

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1118116617361245032005-06-06T20:40:00.000-07:002005-06-06T20:56:57.366-07:00

I have often believed that I have missed the most fundamental human experience because I do not indulge in recreational sex and have not had any kind of a relationship for almost fifty years. The question is, have I missed loving? Now that I am older although not particularly wiser I realize that the answer is no. I do loving things and reach out in loving ways a great deal and for me it is a

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117910203632152792005-06-04T11:18:00.000-07:002005-06-04T11:36:43.636-07:00

Success is countest sweetestBy those who ne'er succeed...Emily Dickinson wrote. She never knew the mind-blowing success of her own poetry as only two or three of her poems were published in her lifetime. Only time will tell, Lynn Ruth, and the fact that your books and audience are out there means you have a chance of imprinting your soul on immortality. You have your readers and your audiences

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117866181851073782005-06-03T23:00:00.000-07:002005-06-03T23:23:01.856-07:00

I was just reading Rachel Remen's KITCHEN TABLE WISDOM and she writes how foolish it is to seek perfection because the idea of perfection means that one achievement is better than another. I have thought about this a lot when I fail at the comptetitions or awards or positions I seek. Does my failure mean that I don't have valuable abilities? You well know Inez how the publishing industry has

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117860078043087432005-06-03T21:26:00.000-07:002005-06-03T21:41:18.046-07:00

I'll be gone for a week-- off to Holland to be interviewed on a popular radio show. It's the first time I make this long trip without my kids and while it is more relaxing to do the 12-15 hour journey by myself, I know it will be plenty lonely, too. Funny thing...once you have kids of your own, you can't imagine your life without them anymore and when it is forced upon you, like with this trip,

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117506097133941592005-05-30T19:11:00.000-07:002005-05-30T19:21:37.136-07:00

I believe love is patient, kind etc all the stuff out of the Bible that gets quoted at weddings, but we have forgotten what selfless love is, as you practise it Lynn Ruth and if we do love like Lynn Ruth, people are immediately suspicious. We love for selfish reasons and that is not loving but taking. Loving is only about giving, never about receiving. Love is also the real thing a mother feels

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117389836565223862005-05-29T10:53:00.000-07:002005-05-29T11:03:57.673-07:00

What is love? I have often asked myself this question and wondered if this is an emotion denied to me because I have no single longstanding relationship. I have come to the conclusion that there are many kinds of love and that the act of loving is not a single feeling directed to only one person. It is a pathway, that is, a way of living, acting and reacting. I also believe that a truly

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117211898852499132005-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:002005-05-27T09:38:18.856-07:00

The more we try to enjoy life, and try things in life, the more we expose ourselves to the forces that be. While I am risk-adverse financially, emotionally I go all out: this means I expose myself more to other people's judgements and actions and while they may hurt, it is the only way to live. I live by e.e.cummings's lines:since feeling is firstwho pays any attentionto the syntax of

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117159843366742652005-05-26T18:56:00.000-07:002005-05-26T19:10:43.370-07:00

I often think about living vs. existing and the style I want to use to create my life. I think most people are on the offensive and spend much of their time defending themselves from enemies, hidden or overt. They take out insurance against catastrophe, lock their homes, guard their persons and back up every agreement or transaction with little papers and signatures with dates and cabon copies.

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117146546720118762005-05-26T15:19:00.000-07:002005-05-26T15:29:06.723-07:00

Lynn Ruth, I see your point and the question is whether we can battle evil and eradicate it. We can't-- it's like the weeds in a garden: they will always pop up again and it makes one feel rather hopeless and powerless...so should one waste valuable energy to fight it anyway? I think yes where we can with the hope that the system (whether it is the law, morality or miracles) will protect us. But

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1117056703371648992005-05-25T14:16:00.000-07:002005-05-25T14:31:43.406-07:00

If an egg never gets out of its shell, it knows nothing about anything but the stuff of its own being unrelated and unconnected to the world. Once that shell is cracked it is exposed to a whole world and it no longer is the center of it. Indeed, it has become part of the universe exposed to great risks (being scrambled, eaten, digested and disintegrated into fertilizer, or becoming a chicken

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116992577733934172005-05-24T20:31:00.000-07:002005-05-24T20:42:57.736-07:00

We were discussing palm reading/life lines over dinner, so Caroline looked into the palm of her hand and said: "I think I have a small life." Then the topic turned to Alzheimer's (yes, we are a cultured family, ha, ha)and I asked William if he knew what that meant. He said: "Oh, Old Timer's...yes I think that's when the memory parts of your brain turn into apple sauce." Now! I could not have

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116640460965860672005-05-20T18:39:00.000-07:002005-05-20T18:54:20.970-07:00

Having children means picking your battles carefully. Since a lot of adults lack the maturity one expects of adults, I think the same rule applies to adults. That does not mean people can violate your rights because if we stop fighting for those we're on the slippery slope of a totalitarian state-- we may in fact already be there, for who is protesting the violations of the US Army? Molly Ivins

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116555506384534392005-05-19T19:11:00.000-07:002005-05-19T19:18:26.390-07:00

I have been thinking about conflicts lately because I have had so many of them catapulting at me. I think one must make a choice whenever he finds himslef confronted. "Is this worth a battle?"The answer always for me is no. What will I win? All I will do is expend energy defending myself to deaf ears. I often find people who have been selfish, cruel and self serving are the ones whose

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116538732655092972005-05-19T14:18:00.000-07:002005-05-19T14:38:52.660-07:00

Yes, my new book did hit a snag at a point where the publisher was ready to talk about the contract with my agent. Then he got overruled by his boss and down went the manuscript. The publisher believed in the book and has now handed it to another publisher and the waiting game is back on. I am not against self-publishing but I do believe that with the power agents and editors have these days

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116468634734321832005-05-18T19:02:00.000-07:002005-05-18T19:10:34.746-07:00

Inez has had a terrible week because her new book has met with some resistance in the publication field. I well know that desolate feeling of being rejected for what I feel are small pieces of my soul: my words, my thoughts, my ideas. It has been very hard for me to accept that for me writing has two parts. The first is the doing and I write because it defines me to me. The second is getting

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116397438861797942005-05-17T23:17:00.000-07:002005-05-17T23:23:58.873-07:00

Sometimes, life appears to deal so many blows to one's ego that we feel overwhelmed and defeated with no hope of pulling out of the morass we seem to dig into each day. I have been in one of these sinking phases and as each disaster piles upon the next, it occurred to me that all these things could be learning experiences or just normal abrasions that I must learn to deal with if I am to keep to

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116096029618292222005-05-14T11:35:00.000-07:002005-05-14T11:40:29.620-07:00

My dear Inez I so agree!Let us open up a dialogue to do REAL teaching. Let me define it for you. It is giving people courage to be themselves, so reach for their own star and the hell with anyone else's It is knowing where to look for what they want to find and knowing what they want to find. The two of us have grown immeasurably since we found each other because we hear each other and maybe

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116095500643897612005-05-14T11:25:00.000-07:002005-05-14T11:31:40.653-07:00

I have long thought anger is a waste of time and energy but I have been exposed to raw, uncontrolled tirades of temper lately and I am wondering what satisfactions all the shouting, fury and raised blood pressure offers the performer. I know as the receiver, I feel as if I am being showered with acid. There is no response to insult and name-calling is there? The attacker would not hear your

Lynn Ruth MIllerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05018437842746693593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12462410.post-1116000280473456062005-05-13T08:38:00.000-07:002005-05-13T09:04:40.476-07:00

Hoping you're feeling better Lynn Ruth. You do have to listen to your body, if only to give it the rest and care it deserves.At UC Berkeley we have reached the end of the semester. In a sense this is a sad time because I have been with some of my students for what seems like a whole year (especially if they took two of my classes) and a lot was said in between grammar exercises and pronunciation

Inez Hollanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06103925392136245585noreply@blogger.com0