LIVING

I often think about living vs. existing and the style I want to use to create my life. I think most people are on the offensive and spend much of their time defending themselves from enemies, hidden or overt. They take out insurance against catastrophe, lock their homes, guard their persons and back up every agreement or transaction with little papers and signatures with dates and cabon copies. I think this is wonderful but I think it is a trade-off for the other kind of life style that for me is more interesting, more rewarding and in my case at least, often dangerous. I spend as little time as possible protecting myself from others not because I am unafraid, but because I have no time to be afraid. Does that make sense? I am creating my books, painting my pictures, organizing entertainment shows, entertaing myself with theater, music and movies and filling my mind with what I hope is not clutter. Add this to physical upkeep that I must do so I live to be a functioning 120 and there is no time to fret over getting a paper to substantiate a deal, to distrusting another person, to guarding myself against unexpected attacks.
And so of course, terrible catastrophes happen. They have increased lately and not because my mind has turned to applesauce as Inez's William puts it, but because I am out there more exposed to more and living more.
I saw a marvelous play called CHARLIE COX RUNS WITH SCISSORS and that really says it all. If you are afraid to run with scissors lest you stab yourself you may never dare to run anywhere at all. And that would be a terrible waste.