PHYSICAL LOVE

I have often believed that I have missed the most fundamental human experience because I do not indulge in recreational sex and have not had any kind of a relationship for almost fifty years. The question is, have I missed loving?
Now that I am older although not particularly wiser I realize that the answer is no. I do loving things and reach out in loving ways a great deal and for me it is a very physical thing. I get a rush when I am with someone I care for, be it a friend, an attractive man, and even my dogs whom I adore. When I see a child I have to force myself not to hug him and hold him close. What I have missed is the experience of carnal love and while I do not recommend this kind of abstinence to anyone, I do know that despite the current view that sexual encounters and money are all that matter in life, my own creativity has been enhanced by this very absence and furthermore my ability to love in the emotional sense is heightened.
I care very deeply for the people who are part of my life. I have noticed that the list of loved ones is not a constant and that saddens me. I think for people who live as I do, love is both intellectual, physical and emotional but not possessive. Perhaps that is why it can ebb and flow from one person to another. I never stop loving someone but when they are not present I am not aware of that love nor do I feel more than mild loss.
I am not sure I am making sense here but I do know that ALL love is physical even if it is not sexual. And I know, too that without great amounts of love in our lives, we tread a lonely, barren and unrewarding path.