in the grand scheme of things...and about writing the truth

You gave up, you say, and the establishment has won, you say

but in the grand scheme of things,

Renee has lost.

The older I get, the more confused I am about purpose, destiny and the right way to live. Most of the time I feel inadequate and weak but I think or rather I hope I know the difference between right and wrong. What happened to you, Lynn Ruth, was wrong...a horrible failure of a system that rewarded evil and dishonesty...but life is full of instances where we feel robbed, cheated and betrayed. It does not mean we have to give up on living or trying to restore our confidence to believe and trust again. I know you can do it, Lynn Ruth, because it is who you are...

What else is new on your end?

Here all is well. I am trying to figure out how I can time box my time better so I don't feel so frustrated by running out of time. Work has been busy and it has given me little time to write, or even express myself, however mundanely or trivially, in this blog. I sent you the story which Colleen used for her new website the Hot Flash Cafe. I cringed when I read it myself. It needed another edit but it is online now, for everyone to read. It's the most honest and embarrassing story I ever wrote about myself but I think in writing we have to be as honest as we can because if we don't or can't we might as well pack up and call it a day. Funny, btw, how honesty in court does not pay but if you're dishonest in your writing, the reader will notice very quickly and stop reading. Hemingway said that every reader, however inexperienced, has a bullshit detector. Of course Hemmy was a compulsive liar and bulshitter extraordinaire but then he was a good liar, too, and ultimately he came to live his lies, so that in a sense he might have thought he was telling the truth. The slanted truth, as Emily Dickinson put it. We all slant the truth, come to think of it-- self-censorship? Do you show your most vulnerable self? I know I do and I know I don't...

But don't give up on yourself Lynn Ruth-- but let's give up on Renee