OPINIONS

One of the hardest things for me to understand is that other people's opinions are valid to them even though they seem ridiculous or out of proportion to me. Their standards of conduct may seem primitive or savage to me but to them they make perfect sense. I have a teen-aged neighbor, Kevin Michael Kavanaugh who has decided to hate me for absolutely no reason that I can tell. He has determined that I am an evil, malicious old woman and not only does my every action inadvertently reinforce that opinion, but the very sight of me escalates his anger. My first thought when this boy verbally attacked me and threw things at me was to defend myself; to retaliate with words as angry as his. But it occrured to me that the source of his anger probably had nothing to do with me. He was looking for a target for his fury at the lousy way his own life is turning out for him. I am it. I am old. I am Jewish. I am not in a position to strike him or hurt him physically. Hitting at me costs him nothing and makes him feel better. I can do absolutely nothing to dilute his hatred of me and you must know that at first, I tried. I spoke to him several times praising him and telling him how much I love his uncles (as I do) but the very tone of my voice, my stature, my demeanor angers him. He needs someone he can hit at that cannot or will not hit back.
I keep harping on Renee Villanueva and Richard Romanski and the judgment against me when I had a contract to prove I was reasonable in my request for money for my car. Again, Richard Romanski (the judge) firmly believes that someone my age and of my ethnic background does not deserve to get the money she asked for because she was being greedy and unfair. He believes this and thought he would do a kind thing by ignoring my evidence even though it had been accepted in a lower court and giving someone LIKE HIM a judgement in her favor despite concrete written proof that I had a right to the 1600 dollars Renee owed me. It has been a year since that judgment was made and I still cannot believe that man was allowed to do something as evil and unfair as violating the established rules of justice.
But what I DO believe is that both he and Rene Villanueva are congratulating themselves on "getting back" at a greedy, old Jewish woman who didn't deserve what she demanded, just as Kevin Kavanaugh congratulates himself on his courage to badger that pest who lives next door because her very presence, her dogs, her lights on late at night, her HAPPINESS offends him.
As the target of these people, I must realize that IN THEIR MINDS they not only feel justified, they feel that they are doing the whole world a service. My job is to let my own anger and sense of injustice go and get on with the positive aspects of my life. If I dwell on their cruelty to me, they have won the battle they are fighting. If I ignore them, I have deprived them of their battlefield.