happy holidays

I just saw a movie that explored our need to be spiritually centered and talked about the Jewish mandate Tikkum Olam which means to make the world a better place. Each time we do a good thing: water a flower, help a struggling child, send a thoughtful wish....all these things make the world lovelier for us all EVEN IF YOU AS THE DOER RECEIVE NO RETURN.
During the holiday season we often give gifts because we feel we need to and receive gifts without giving thought to the care (or lack of it) of the giver. Instead, we must give for the simple joy of giving. I return as an example to the incident with Renee and the car. I gave to her in many more ways than these blogs tell. I offered my home to her to increase sales at her dress shop, I gave her the things I created to stock the shop and she not only did not value them, she destroyed them. I gave her a car to drive before she had paid for it and never, even in the court case when she refused to pay me, asked for interest on that money. Until I saw that movie, I felt a total fool; but now I realize I was not. My mistake was to expect this woman to even notice what I did for her. According to my religion, I was doing nothing for her alone. I was attempting to make the world sweeter.
After I lost the appeal because of prejudice on the part of the judge I was and still am horrified that a bigot like that man ( Richard Romanski) should be in a position of power. Now that I understand the concept of Tikkum Olam, perhaps MY reaction was the wrong one. I did what every human being who inhabits the planet must do. I improved the world. If Renee polluted it and Richard Romanski soured it , no matter. Their blasphemies must not stop my own obligation to do Tikkum Olam. I have to believe my deeds balanced and hopefully superceded theirs. My gifts were not to them alone. The outcome of my actions is immaterial to the need to spread goodness. I hope that makes sense. It does to me and I feel much better about this horrible experience of coming to terms with a justice system that isn't just. I am less determined to keep my guard up against others and more disposed to continue throwing out my sugar ...the kind that contains no calories, only smiles. Happy holidays.
LYNN RUTH