STAYING ON YOUR PATH

I think each of us knows the direction our life should take but so many outside influences divert us that we often wake up one morning and say, "How did I land in THIS mess?"
To me, Inez, your first priority is to nurture the two lives you and Jon have created. They are your legacy; they are the gifts you are giving to the world and to yourselves. I suppose I am overly idealistic about children because I never had any and I wanted them even more than I wanted what you do to get them. I can think of no other mission more important than to give your children the weapons they need to become all they can become.
I teach piano to Lisa's Chloe and last Tuesday she showed me a book her teacher asked her to write about herself. The essay was entitled ME, and she wrote, "I am wonderful, amazing and very, very special...." I looked at Lisa and I said, "You have succeeded."
Your two youngsters must not just HEAR that they are magnificent gifts to you and Jon, they must see and feel their value if they are to venture out into an impersonal often rocky world and make the mark they need to make.
As you know, I never had that sense of personal value and it has taken me years and years to establish the self love we all need to move forward with confidence knowing that our direction is the right one.
Let me also point out that no one knows what another needs. You as a parent can only give your children tools to explore their potential. You cannot and must not tell them what it is they must do or should want. When they are not given proper resources, they will take twice as long to accomplish half as much. And to waste time in our lives is an unforgivable crime .....because time is all we have.
I firmly believe that my first book would have been published when I was 30, not when I was 68 if I had not had to first overcome all the negativity smothering me in my world.
We must always take responsibility for who we are and once we do that that we can take pride in what we become. But children are ahead of the game of life if they are given a solid foundation of love and encouragement. Those of us who first had to force our way up through the sands of insecurity, had a longer road to follow before we could get to level ground. In many ways, I believe that battle made me strong, but in others far too vulnerable and sensitive to the judgement of others.
Don't let any task interfere with giving your chilrern that stolid stepping stone to their own definition of happiness. In doing so you will find your own mission in life and that includes your writing, your marriage and your teaching will blossom even more fully because you have nurtured the very reasons that you do need to move forward in your life. Those children define who you are. They cannot keep you from accomplishing your goals because they are the stimuli for you want to become.
I often wonder why I push myself to become more of what I am and I know it is only for me. If I can offer what I have learned about the endless possibilities in us all, then perhaps I have given a small gift to humanity. You, on the other hand can multiply that gift by more than three. What a marvelous oportunity! So stop whatever else you are doing and be a mother to your youngsters. You cannot do a better thing for them or for yourself.